The Disappearing Girl Sale and Healthier Thinking for the New Year's

At the start of the New Year, I know a lot of thought goes into weight loss and getting back in shape. I'm all for healthy habits, but for those who are suffering from an eating disorder, this time of year can be a difficult one. I'm putting The Disappearing Girl on sale for the new year and I wanted to share a little bit of the backstory to the novel.

When I was in high school, some really ugly stuff was going on in my life. I won't get into specifics because I'd never want to hurt anyone by sharing my story, but it was very a dark period for me. All this bad stuff was going on around me and I felt that I had no control over anything. For the most part, I'd been thin in middle school, but I found my weight going up in high school. I was a stress eater and I turned to food for solace since I felt I had no one else there for me in my life.

I can remember the first time I made myself vomit. I had overeaten at lunch and went into the school's bathroom and shoved my fingers into my throat. I remember thinking how easy it was. The food would come out just as easy as it went in. I could binge and never worry about gaining a pound.

I never considered myself bulimic or thought I suffered from an eating disorder. I would only throw up from time to time, so I never realized what I was doing was unhealthy or could be a problem. And until I gained perspective over what was happening, I didn't consider that the times I was throwing up was during times of stress.

The thing about bulimia is that throwing up your food is hard to keep a secret. There was a lot of lingering in the bathroom, running the water in hopes no one would hear me gagging, trying to clean away the evidence off my face and hands. I would try to look at myself in the mirror after and I couldn't do it. I felt myself rotting from the inside out.

This behavior went on for years, well until I finished college. I think a big turning point for me was my husband (at the time boyfriend) catching me as I threw up a particular big meal on vacation. I was ashamed of who I had become and what I was willing to do to my body. After I became pregnant with my first child, I decided I'd never risk my health in that way again.

But the thing is those mixed up feelings about weight and food never go away. They linger and I still struggle all the time to not become obsessive about my weight. There's always this deep drive to try the latest fad diet or pick up a new bottle of weight loss supplements. I have to always take a step back and give myself a mental pep talk in order to get my thinking back on track.

Writing The Disappearing Girl was therapeutic and I'm happy with myself right now. I exercise (but keep it fun) and I'm trying to incorporate healthy recipes into my family diet's instead of strict diet plans.

In short, I wanted to make it clear that The Disappearing Girl has the most of me in it. All those emotions Kayla goes through as she suffers from an eating disorder came from my own personal experience. My intent was to be honest and hopefully reach women and men who are possibly going through the same issues I had.

The Disappearing Girl is on sale for 99 Cents through the weekend on Amazon.com and Amazon UK. Links:

http://www.amazon.com/Disappearing-Girl-Heather-Topham-Wood-ebook/dp/B00CMR7GFQ

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Disappearing-Girl-Heather-Topham-Wood-ebook/dp/B00CMR7GFQ  

The graphic at the top was done by a blogger and very talented graphic artist named Georgina. You can check out her blog and design portfolio here: http://www.whatshereads.co.uk/category/what-georgie-did/

The Disappearing Girl 99 Cents Book Sale

I rarely put my standalone NA novel The Disappearing Girl on sale but the price will be chopped and available for 99 cents until 2/14. As part of the promotion, I'm also giving away bookmarks to US buyers. Simply email me your receipt from Amazon or Barnes & Nobles and your mailing address and I'll send you a free bookmark. Below is the summary, buy links and an excerpt.

Summary:

Kayla Marlowe is slowly vanishing…

Last year, Kayla’s world imploded. Her beloved father died, leaving her alone with a narcissistic mother who is quick to criticize her daughter’s appearance. During her winter break from college, Kayla’s dangerous obsession with losing weight begins.

Kayla feels like her world changes for the better overnight. Being skinny seems to be the key to the happiness she has desperately been seeking. Her mother and friends shower her with compliments, telling her how fantastic she looks. Kayla is starving, but no one knows it.

Cameron Bennett explodes into Kayla’s life. He’s sexy and kind—he has every quality she has been looking for in a guy. As Cameron grows closer to Kayla and learns of how far she’s willing to go to stay thin, he becomes desperate to save her.

Kayla’s struggles with anorexia and bulimia reach a breaking point and she is forced to confront her body image issues in order to survive. She wonders if Cameron could be the one to help heal her from the pain of her past.

New Adult Contemporary-Ages 17+ due to language and sexual situations.

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Disappearing-Girl-Heather-Topham-Wood-ebook/dp/B00CMR7GFQ

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-disappearing-girl-heather-topham-wood/1116265018

Excerpt:

I had no idea how much time had passed while I stayed in the same position. The living room darkened, casting late-afternoon shadows across the wood flooring. I couldn’t move. Nothing could rouse me, not even the insistent ringing of the doorbell. My mother strode into the room, glaring at me, before answering the door.

“I’d say what a pleasant surprise, but we’d both know that was a lie,” she said. “She’s in the living room. Maybe you can talk some sense into her because I’m done with her melodrama.”

Heavy footsteps pounded in my direction. It took too much energy to lift my head, provoking me to stay still. A masculine growl grabbed my attention and I moved my head toward the disruption. My attention was captivated by a gorgeous set of deep blue eyes. They were filled with too many emotions for me to discern. Before I could prepare a response, a familiar pair of hands was lifting me off the loveseat. Faltering as my feet hit the ground; it took a moment for me to regain my bearings. When I came out of my stupor, I realized Cameron was standing before me.

My mother was behind him with her arms folded across her chest. They were staring at me expectantly, and it felt as if I was on trial and they were to be the ones to decide my fate. My lack of food and the sudden movement off the loveseat left me dizzy, and I grabbed the end table for balance.

I managed to croak out, “What are you doing here?”

Cameron stepped forward and cradled my face in his palms. “I was worried, Kayla. You hung up on me and then didn’t answer the phone. I thought something was wrong.”

“I’m sorry you wasted your time. As you can see, I’m perfectly all right,” I mumbled. I tried to take a step forward, but I stumbled again. Cameron pulled me toward him. Before I could react, I felt his hands slip under the edge of my sweatshirt and wrap around my waist.

I squirmed out of his grasp, but by the look on his face I could tell I was too late. Instead of addressing me, he spun on my mother. “Do you not see her? She’s been here a month. Have you bothered to look at her?”

My mother’s mouth hung open. Cameron didn’t wait for a reply. Instead, he crouched a little until his eyes were level with mine. “Babe, we’re leaving here. Let’s go pack your things. You can’t stay in this house anymore.”

He took me by the hand and led me toward the stairs. I flung his hand away. “What are you doing?”

“Kayla, you need help. I can feel the bones sticking out of your skin. I’ll be the asshole here if I have to, but I’m taking you to a doctor. This has gone on long enough.” He was practically snarling, and I could see a vein pulsing on his forehead. 

I dug in my heels as he tried to reach for me again. “Stop it Cameron! I’m not going anywhere. I’m not someone you need to save.” I narrowed my eyes before sneering,  “I’m not your mom.”

I had verbally punched him in the face. His jaw went slack and an angry flush colored his cheeks. “That was a really shitty thing to say. I’m going to chalk it up to you being sick and let it slide.” He spoke through clenched teeth.

“It’s true though, isn’t it? You couldn’t make her better and you can’t deal with it. Now, you’ve decided I need mending. You’re using me to make up for the things that happened to you as a kid. You couldn’t be a rescuer back then and you want the chance to be my knight in shining armor.”

I was a monster. His love for me was beautiful and I was twisting it into something hideous. I was trying to hurt him where I knew his deepest vulnerability lay. I wasn’t merely pushing Cameron away—I was attempting to hurl him into a black hole with the promise he would never return again.

The Disappearing Girl FAQS

Today I’m discussing my New Adult release The Disappearing Girl. Out of all my books, I get the most letters and questions regarding Kayla Marlowe’s struggles with an eating disorder. Here I provide some answers but BEWARE spoilers are posted.

What inspired you to write a book about eating disorders?

Eating disorders are a common problem that gets very little media attention. According to Anad.org, up to 24 million American suffer from an eating disorder with only 1 in 10 sufferers ever receiving treatment. Statistics also show that 95% of those who have an eating disorder are between the ages of 12 and 25.

Although you can find a handful of fiction books on eating disorders, I found many of them didn’t fully connect with me. I also hated that many of the books ended with one or more of the characters dying. Yes, you can die from anorexia and bulimia, but that’s not the only outcome. I had personal experience with an eating disorder and I wanted to translate those feelings I had in regards to food and weight onto the page.

Who did you model Kayla after?

Another thing I found bothersome about a handful of books I read was the unlikable main characters. Eating disorders can absolutely change your personality, but I couldn’t connect from the start with many of the characters. I wanted Kayla to come across as a normal college student who ends up succumbing to the pressures of losing weight.

What do you wish for readers to take away from The Disappearing Girl?

I really wanted to emphasize Kayla getting better on her own. Yes, Cameron inspired her recovery, but she walked away from the relationship to get treatment. I think it’s important to realize how important it is to rely on our own inner strength to get us through the hard times. Support is an important part of the process of recovery, but if Kayla went through treatment only for Cameron’s sake, she’d be more likely to repeat the same unhealthy patterns later on.

What would happen next for Kayla and Cameron? Will there be a sequel?

I wrote The Disappearing Girl as a standalone. If I did do a sequel, it wouldn’t be a story about Kayla relapsing. I just don’t want that future for her and although she would always be at risk for falling back into unhealthy habits, it was important to me as an author to give Kayla a HEA. If I did go ahead with a sequel, it would either by Lila’s (Kayla’s younger sister) story or a story featuring Cameron’s relationship with his birth mother.

What was the biggest challenge you faced writing the book?

Some of the things discussed in The Disappearing Girl can be triggering to people suffering from an eating disorder. There is talk of calories, beauty obsession and extreme dieting. Researching these things was hard for me. It brought back a lot of feelings I had tried to repress. As happy as I am about writing the novel, it was an emotional relief when I finished it.